You might think you know what women want, but are you sure you’re not buying into some commonly believed myths? Look, you could assume women want you to be super macho, wax lyrical about your feelings and ditch your female friends, but guess what? Myth, myth and myth.
Here are some things women (really) don’t want in a partner or relationship, and what turns their interest on instead.
Myth No. 1
Women want to talk
It’s a known fact that women like to talk — a lot. In fact, research even points to how a woman uses 20,000 words a day compared to a man’s 7,000. Although you might think such info means women want to wrestle you into hour-long conversations, the truth is they just want you to listen to them talk. See, it’s much more important to her that you hear her out instead of warble back uninterested remarks.
So, instead of whining about how you don’t feel like chatting about your day, all you have to do is open your ears and hand her the invisible mic.
Myth No. 2
Women want macho men
When you and your woman are at a club and some random guy hits on her, you might think that she wants you to stand up to the plate and rustle the offender up a bit until you and the guy get Tasered by security. However, that just makes you look possessive and crazy, which makes her feel embarrassed. Yes, women want manly men who know their way under the hood of a car and can manage a household budget, but they aren’t impressed by a flashy show of macho behavior — so leave the bar brawls to Brody Jenner, please.
Myth No. 3
Women want to hear about your feelings
Many women have said they want men who will open up about their feelings. So we welcomed the metrosexual trend, which was not only about men packing on the moisturizer but also about lowering the fortress on their sensitive sides. That’s fine and well, but don’t open your emotional floodgates just for the sake of it or if it’s not your style. When women whine about wanting a man who expresses his feelings, they’re really saying that they want a man who’ll talk about his thoughts and opinions. That makes her feel more included in your world and helps her get to know you. It doesn’t mean she expects any badly written poetry or crying sessions either.
Myth No. 4
Women want to be the center of your life
Now we’re hitting a touchy topic. You know what it’s like: You start dating a girl and the next minute she’s expecting to see you all of the time, trying to control your free time and wanting to be the main player in your life. Honestly, real, confident women don’t want to be the center of your life. They are most attracted to men who already have full lives — friends, activities they love pursuing, passions, and interests. If you revolve your life around her, it can be a turn-off because then you come across as desperate or like you have no life. So, sure, go on and give her a starring role, but don’t make her the only character starring in the skit — she’ll get bored under the blinding spotlight.
Myth No. 5
Women want you to ditch your female friends
Platonic friendships outside of the relationship can be tumultuous, but your girlfriend isn’t bothered that you have female friends. Rather, she probably likes it because it shows her you’re well-balanced and know how to understand women. Not only do you have experience being there during female-related tough times and breakdowns, but if your female friends actually like you it means you know how to relate to women. This is important if you expect to have a relationship with one, you know.
Myth No. 6
Women want to be treated equally
Your Beyoncé-listening, independent girlfriend probably comes across as uber-strong, however, if you start treating her like she can fix her own kitchen sink or buy herself flowers, then you’re in trouble. See, just because she is capable of looking after herself doesn’t mean you should lose your gentlemanly ways. And yes, this holds true even if your woman is a loud and proud feminist.
What women mean when they demand equal treatment is that they want you to understand they can do things on their own and they don’t need a man around. And hell, they expect you to know this. However, they never inform you of the feminist disclaimer (probably to save face). They do want to be looked after and treated with chivalry when a man comes along because it makes them feel special. They just don’t want to have to tell you.
Well, I can’t speak for all the guys. But I know a few things that are very attractive to me about a woman. So I thought I would spill the ugly truth about what I find sexy.
1. Be Natural
I appricate a woman that is au naturel. A woman that has natural beauty and doesn’t need tons of make up. And only spray on a scent that accentuates the way you smell. Pheromones are sexy!
2. Challenge Me
Football is my sport, I played it for many years and a hugh fan. So I like a woman that can hold her own and isn’t afraid to push me. The key to a relationship is to constantly fall in love and challenge each other.
3. Workouts
Exercising together is hot! I think this is one of the coolest things to do together. Whether it’s going to the gym, running, hiking or yoga, it doesn’t matter! Doing it together is what makes it special.
4. Go Casual
I love when a woman can pull off the hat look. Baseball cap and Fadoras baby. I can’t explain it. It’s just sexy!
5. She’s Got Legs
And she knows how to use them. Summer + Dresses = Legs I’m a sucker for sexy legs.
In my experience, age difference isn’t as important in a relationship as most people think. It’s more about creating a positive partnership and building a loving life with each other. So, my tips for the men out who are attracted to these classy kougar women:
1. Be a gentleman. A lot of guys forget or don’t know how to do this but a kougar wants to be treated with respect, like any woman does. While she might be attracted to your witty charm or youthful lifestyle, she still wants you to treat her with good manners.
2. Slow your roll Casanova. Don’t worry, unless! Unless you actually have a future with her. Let things happen organically.
3. Stay Cool. You may be excited, but don’t lay it on heavy. Have fun and enjoy your dates but don’t move too fast. She’s still studying her prey, so don’t mess it up.
4. Be charming. Smile, it’s your biggest weapon and use it often. Make eye contact; Don’t you look at those! Always keep the conversation flowing. LISTEN to what she has to say, and show interest in her opinions, experiences, and activities.
5. Give compliments
but don’t focus too much on her physical appearance, she may be anxious about it. And even if you’re complimentary, she may worry that you’re too focused on looks. Rather focus on her intellect and style, she wants to be appreciated for who she is as woman. “You look amazing tonight,” or “Wow, that dress is very sexy on you” are safer than “You’re body is hot.”
6. Have fun. Simple is key. Fun is the theme. Focus on her and don’t let it be a “me” conversation.
7. Don’t talk about sex first. You can talk about anything, past relationships, and love in general, but don’t be the one who brings up sex first.
8. Class is in session. You want to learning about your date. It’s not about you. Engage your conversation with questions: “What do you think?” “Has it been that way for you?”
9. Pay attention! Listen to her answers. Remember the color of her eyes. Be aware of her dislikes. Watching what she does, and understand what most important to her.
10. Be yourself! Don’t be someone your not, because a Kougar can smell that a mile away.
Parties and social events are great places to meet potential mates. Unfortunately, they’re also great places to make poor decisions that can prevent that very thing from happening. Here are some things you should and shouldn’t do at a social gathering.
Dating tip #1:
Go out in groups of no bigger than three. Larger groups of girls are supertough (read: intimidating) to approach. Three is a good number because your two friends can keep each other company when a guy walks up to chat with you.
Dating tip #2:
Smile genuinely. So obvious, right? But I can’t stress it enough — Now I know that women smile all the time naturally (when they’re nervous, when they’re trying to be polite, etc.), so if you don’t do it at all, you look unapproachable.
Dating tip #3:
Work the eye contact. To reel him in from across the room, tilt your chin down a bit and flash him a couple of sultry glances. (Guys love it when you look up at them — it makes them feel manly.) If the guy across the room is so gorgeous you have a hard time looking straight at him and are simply too nervous, fake it by focusing on the tiny area right between his eyes. He won’t be able to tell the difference.
Dating tip #4:
Don’t immediately ask him what he does. Some men think all women are gold diggers. A lot of my clients ask, “why can’t I ask about his job?” Its simple, guys see this as a red flag, plus it’s that fear-of-being-used thing again.
Dating tip #5:
Make positive small talk. Once I started studying women, I couldn’t believe how negative some of them appear. When you’re out on the town, you’re supposed to be having fun, and any complaint (“It’s hot in here!”), pessimism (“There will definitely be another terrorist attack”), or snarky quip (“Look at that chick’s belt — so 2002!”) pretty much pokes a hole in the fun-girl aura you should be projecting. Some better small-talk topics: recent vacations, favorite bands, hilarious movies. You can hit him with your deep, dark world-view some other time.
This has been a topic of many discussions as of late. I thought I would clear the air on this thumbthing phenomenon. It seems that guys are lacking in txting etiquette…*Hint Guys* Txting is one form of communication, don’t make it your ONLY way of communication. So don’t txt the ladies when you should actually be calling them. The list below will cover the Do’s and Don’ts on txting.
DO’s
1. Txt her after your date to wish her a safe trip home.
2. Txt her to tell her your thinking of her.
3. Txt her to say how HOT she looks today.
4. Txt her to let her know you want her to have a great day.
5. Txt her let her know you are excited to see her tonight, or whenever you’ve planned the next date.
DON’Ts
1. Don’t txt her to ask her out on a date.
2. Don’t txt her to have serious discussions.
3. Don’t txt her if you can’t fit the txt within the allowed character limit.
4. Don’t txt her to break up with her. FYI that’s pretty low man!
5. Don’t be the booty call txter!
And ladies, if the guy is only txting you. He’s not that into you! If a guy is really into a woman, he is going to make the effort to communicate in more ways than one. Don’t be the txting girl! Move on to someone that will actaully take the time to call you for those awesome conversations. Ladies, don’t settle!!
Ok…This post is for the ladies I had the pleasure of having lunch with today. The topic of discussion was “The Pull Back”. I’ve dubbed this term as my own. Feel free to use it today at lunch, during your coffee break or at the water cooler for chit chat.
The-Pull-Back noun:
//is defined in the dating world as dropping all communication for no apparent reason so the person left hanging is thinking…WTF!//
“The Pull Back” can be utilized by either parties. At today’s lunch it was to my understanding that the guy in this particular situation was guilty as charged. And yes, I’m the judge and jury….Why? becuase it’s my blog!
I would consider “The Pull Back” as a mind game tactic. In gorilla dating warfare this is commonly used. If you have ever been the person left hanging, you know how it feels. *hint* WTF!
My advice…be honest because all relationships should start with honesty and trust. If you feel yourself about to use this tactic *pause* think twice! Because what goes around comes around my friend.
Found that special person and they’re you’re best friend? Yikes. Andrea can help. Listen up for tips and advice that will enable you to woo that special someone, even if they don’t know your true feelings.
The blissful early days of a relationship are a wondrous time of discovery and pent-up sexual energy that can leave you deliriously happy and flat broke. It doesn’t always have to be $200 meals, since staying in with a movie is one of the cheapest dates around. The success of that date, and how far you get with her afterward, depends largely on your choice of movie. Sorority House Massacre isn’t going to cut it, nor will anything too serious. And if you rent something overtly sexual, be prepared for two hours of extreme awkwardness.
It’s a veritable minefield, but we’re prepared to help you navigate through it. Perfect date movies should have something for both of you, with an attractive cast, romance, action, laughs, and maybe a tame sex scene. You can always cop out and go the safe route with something predictable (and atrocious) like You’ve Got Mail, but you’d be better off with one of these unique options. You’ll get high marks for originality and won’t have to put up with Meg Ryan. So sit back, snuggle up with your new girl and enjoy one of these top 10 unique date movies.
Number 10
Jerry Maguire – 1996
Tom Cruise, Renee Zellweger
Back before he went completely insane, Tom Cruise was the biggest box-office star in Hollywood and the charisma and screen presence that allowed him to climb to this lofty position is on full display in this hybrid romantic comedy/sports movie. Directed by Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous, Singles), Jerry Maguire tells the tale of a ruthless sports agent who suffers a sudden change of heart and turns his back on the money-crazed industry.
3 reasons she’ll love it: Jerry Maguire has the three pillars of success as far as date movies are concerned: Pre-crazy Tom Cruise, it’s a love story in which the average-looking girl gets the “hot” guy and kid so cute you’ll want to punt him.
3 reasons you’ll love it: There’s great sports action, tons of fantastic cameos (from Glenn Fry to Troy Aikman) and a surprisingly hot sex scene with Kelly Preston (all date movies should be so blessed).
Number 9
The Apartment – 1960
Jack Lemmon, Shirley MacLaine
You can advance your career through hard work, long hours and ample ass-kissing. Or, if you are Bud Baxter (Lemmon) in this classic among 1960s date movies, you just let all the executives use your Manhattan apartment for their illicit trysts. That’s the premise of this long-forgotten comedy from legendary director Billy Wilder (Some Like It Hot). Things go along swimmingly for Bud until he falls for the mistress of his boss — which understandably makes things awkward.
3 reasons she’ll love it: The hilarious backward attitudes toward women will make her happy for today’s more progressive mindset, she’ll giggle at the style — handsome men in thin ties, and Shirley MacLaine’s ditzy, whorish character will make her feel morally superior.
3 reasons you’ll love it: Lemmon’s sad-sack, faceless corporate drone will let you look at your predicament and remember that it could always be worse. The Apartment provides a look at the good old days when cigarettes were smoked in your office and women were called “dames.” You’ll also earn major bonus points for introducing her to a hilarious silver-screen classic that helped shape the genre of date movies.
Number 8
Belle Epoque - 1992
Penelope Cruz, Miriam Díaz Aroca
Show off your cultured continental side and rent this 1994 Oscar-winner for Best Foreign Language Film. It tells the story of a Spanish soldier who deserts the army and ends up in a villa with an artist and his four serious hot Spanish daughters. Hmm, risk your life on the front lines or hang out with four farmer’s daughters? It’s sexy without being raunchy and funny without resorting to poop jokes — just as all date movies should be.
3 reasons she’ll love it: Your date will love the gorgeous Spanish scenery, the sensual sex scenes and the cute guys with even cuter accents.
3 reasons you’ll love it: It’s basically a two-hour cinematic version of the age-old farmer’s daughter fantasy, when your date takes a pee break you can freeze-frame nude scenes of Penelope Cruz, and of course, there’s Penelope Cruz.
Number 7
About a Boy – 2002
Hugh Grant, Rachel Weisz
For many women, dating is really just a job interview for prospective fathers. So, your girl will undoubtedly be watching how you judge Hugh Grant’s character in this pleasant little flick. He starts off as a lazy, womanizing boy-toy, but after becoming an unlikely and unwilling surrogate father to a bastard child in this date movie bloodbath, he turns into a model adult man.
3 reasons she’ll love it: For once she gets to witness a man who can be changed for the better, the female lead isn’t a size zero with porcelain skin, and the cute, awkward lead boy.
3 reasons you’ll love it: You’ll envy Hugh Grant’s bachelor pad, enjoy the soundtrack (performed exclusively by Badly Drawn Boy), and Rachel Weisz.
Number 6
Mr. & Mrs. Smith – 2005
Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie
Make-up sex is just about the best kind of sex you can have. So, imagine how good the sex is between Brad Pitt‘s and Angelina Jolie’s characters after they spend 20 minutes trying to kill each other. That sexual tension, combined with many more phenomenal action sequences, make this one of the best date movies to come along in a long time. With an A-plus cast comes huge expectations, but even with that burden, director Doug Liman (Swingers, Jumper) delivers.
3 reasons she’ll love it: Your date will love the spectacularly decorated suburban home, the rare and empowering presence of a hit woman and, as usual, Brad Pitt.
3 reasons you’ll love it: You’ll love the coolest weapon arsenal seen on the screen in some time, the amazing car chase (between BMWs and a minivan) and, as usual, Angelina Jolie.
Number 5
Say Anything – 1989
John Cusack, Ione Skye
Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack) did more than just bag the hot popular rich chick while wearing a trench coat; he also gave hope to helpless nerds the world over. And this ’80s date-movie classic tells the tale of how he did just that. You can’t help but cheer for Dobler because not only is he the consummate underdog, he’s also a father figure to his little brother and boasts the coolest ghetto blaster in movie history. So, to see him win in the end will melt even the coldest heart.
3 reasons she’ll love it: No woman can resist the young and charming John Cusack. She’ll also like the endearing father/daughter relationship and the hilarious ‘80s fashion.
3 reasons you’ll love it: You’ll like the hot chicks wearing hilarious ‘80s fashion, the retro soundtrack and the sport of the future.
Number 4
Intolerable Cruelty – 2003
George Clooney, Catherine Zeta-Jones
Not all date movies have to come slathered in cheesy romance, especially when they star two of the hottest actors this side of 2000. George Clooney plays a hardened divorce lawyer who falls for a client (Catherine Zeta-Jones) and tries like mad to get in her legal briefs. It’s filled with cheating husbands and gold-digging ex-wives, which could make you ask why it belongs on this list. Well, aside from being one of the wittiest romantic comedies out there, it also captures the same flirtatious energy both you and your friend are hopefully feeling on your movie-watching date.
3 reasons she’ll love it: Obviously, she’ll like People magazine’s twice-named Sexiest Man Alive, George Clooney, a female character that can go toe-to-toe with the slimiest lawyers and con artists out there, and all the cheating men who get their comeuppance.
3 reasons you’ll love it: You’ll love it for the rare and dignified beauty of Catherine Zeta-Jones, the Coen Brothers’ eclectic style and an asthmatic contract killer.
Number 3
The Wedding Singer – 1998
Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore
Usually, lead singers of wedding bands are the kinds of guys you’d like to drag out behind the banquet hall and strangle with a microphone cord, but Adam Sandler’s Robbie is entertaining enough to avoid such a fate. He and a less-annoying-than-usual Drew Barrymore star in this charming romantic comedy and play star-crossed lovers who find themselves engaged to the wrong people. Sandler and Barrymore stick to the moral high ground and wait for the inevitable happy ending to begin their relationship.
3 reasons she’ll love it: She’ll revel in an unrivaled ‘80s soundtrack, be thankful her fingers will never get tangled in a mullet and laugh at the horrific bridesmaid dresses.
3 reasons you’ll love it: Guys will appreciate the realistic portrayal of life as a freshly dumped dude, like the hot girls (if you consider girls with feathered hair and neon sweatshirts hot), and love the fact that the movie ends after 95 minutes.
Number 2
Bull Durham – 1988
Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon
Sports movies usually make good date movies, thanks in part to their combination of action and romance. This baseball flick, however, adds some spicy sex and above-average dialogue to elevate it into the classic realm. Kevin Costner plays a career minor league catcher called on to mentor a dim yet talented prospect (Tim Robbins). Along the way, the two fight over the affections of Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon), a townie with a thing for ballplayers.
3 reasons she’ll love it: Your girl will like the liberal female lead who’ll make her feel empowered (which could make things very interesting if things get a bit frisky), the cute baseball players, and Kevin Costner’s list of the important things in life, which range from hanging curveballs to high fiber, and ends with an admiration of “long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”
3 reasons you’ll love it: You’ll chuckle at Nuke LaLoosh’s cliche-ridden interviews, but you’ll enjoy how the movie portrays life in the minor leagues, and the old-fashioned, dirt-on-your-uniform, pine-tar-in-your-hair baseball action.
Number 1
Hitch - 2005
Will Smith, Kevin James
There are life coaches, financial consultants, career counselors, and all other sorts of people willing to offer their services, but is there any help out there for a hapless dweeb with no clue about women? There is in this surprising rom-com, and it is in the form of a silky-smooth Will Smith who mentors Kevin James on the subtleties of dating in the new millennium. We mentioned that a good date movie should have laughs, and this film has a black book full of them.
3 reasons she’ll love it: She’ll like Will Smith doing his Will Smith thing, Kevin James’ attempt at dancing and the flick gives an inside look at the inner-workings of a man on the prowl.
3 reasons you’ll love it: You’ll like Eva Mendes, the truly valuable nuggets of dating advice from a master and Eva Mendes (no, that’s not a misprint).
date movie climax
How many first heavy-petting sessions have taken place on the couch with the soft flicker of a TV illuminating the groping couple as the DVD’s menu music plays in a continuous loop in the background? A movie at home is an ideal date — it’s simple, cheap and easily transferable to second base and beyond. It must be done correctly, however, and trying some of these 10 unique date movies will give you a fighting chance. The rest is up to you, stud.
I’m a sucker for sexy legs. 
